DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married to my husband for 30 years. For the previous 5 years, I’ve seen that he’s performing a bit of completely different. He’s misplaced numerous weight. I came upon he’s been smoking medicine. He had this downside years in the past, and I assumed we had it beat. However now I’m getting the impression that perhaps you’ll be able to’t ever beat it.
My daughter gave me a tracker for my birthday. I put it in his automotive to see the place he went, and it confirmed that he went to an residence constructing and was there for nearly an hour. I don’t know who lives in that constructing, and I’ve by no means been there. I believe that he’s dishonest on me. I can’t consider one more reason he could be in an residence constructing in a extremely unhealthy space if there wasn’t one thing preserving him there. After I requested him the place he was, he mentioned, “Why are you asking me so many questions?”
I do know my husband lies to me. I’m at my wits’ finish and don’t know what to do. I do know it is going to be actually exhausting to depart if that’s what I select to do, however I assume I’ve no different alternative. After I advised marriage counseling, he refused. I informed him he wanted to do drug counseling. He mentioned he doesn’t have an issue. Clearly, he does have an issue. I informed him he’s too outdated for this. What do you suppose I ought to do? — SUSPICIOUS IN MICHIGAN
DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Earlier than doing anything, it will be important you shield your self. Discuss to your physician about being checked for STDs. Then inform your husband concerning the tracker and ask him to clarify concerning the time he’s spent at that residence constructing. Was he with one other girl? His drug vendor? (If it’s a girl, does he plan to proceed seeing her?) Relying upon the solutions he offers you and whether or not you’ll be able to consider them, it’s possible you’ll need to speak to an legal professional to find out the way you need to proceed.
DEAR ABBY: My 95-year-old mom has been wholesome till lately. She’s in an impartial dwelling facility and is completely satisfied there. I’m the first caretaker for her medical wants as her coronary heart has weakened, and she or he’s now beneath palliative care.
My sister “Julie,” who lives out of state, has determined to put a digicam in Mother’s residence and observe and file her day and night time. Though Mother doesn’t thoughts the digicam, it makes me uncomfortable to be continuously watched and monitored whereas visiting and helping her. Julie will get offended if I cowl the digicam whereas I’m there. After I take away the quilt, I hear the digicam zoom across the room and deal with us. Am I mistaken to need privateness throughout my visits with my mom? — CAMERA-SHY IN COLORADO
DEAR CAMERA-SHY: The purpose of the digicam is when your mom is alone somebody can control her. If you’re there, there must be no want for the digicam. I’ll assume you’ve gotten informed your sister you don’t need your visits monitored, and she or he persists in doing it anyway. Be at liberty to cowl it if you are there, however don’t neglect to uncover it once you go away.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
