Maureen Dowd: Annie Leibovitz took your passport photograph.
Graydon Carter: She took my passport photograph.
You had been advised to sod off by James Bond.
Verify! One yr I invited all the boys who performed James Bond to the Oscar occasion. For one motive or one other, all however one had been both working or unavailable. We obtained George Lazenby, who had appeared within the pre-Sean Connery period in “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.” I noticed him on the bar by himself. I went over and launched myself. He simply seemed straight forward after which turned and within the type of aromatic language not typically permitted in a excessive class newspaper, advised me to buzz off.
If you had been at Time — and single — you wrote enjoyable tidbits for the “Folks” web page, and also you had a romantic encounter with the younger lady who wrote Newsweek’s model of the individuals web page, known as “Newsmakers.”
No remark.
The 2 funniest non-comedians you’ve ever met are George Clooney and Anderson Cooper.
In each circumstances, they had been so humorous that I needed to inform them to cease as a result of I believed my trachea would break.
When a New York Instances push alert introduced the information of your departure from Vainness Honest, a number of associates later advised you that seeing your identify pop up on their cellphone, they assumed it was since you died.
Sure, and for a few of them, it put a spring of their step.
Anna Wintour ought to retire.
Completely not. I believe she will be able to go on for many years.
Putin as soon as known as you to get on the quilt of Vainness Honest.
Deny.
The Kushners are the brand new Kennedys.
Deny. Nicely, the brand new Bobby Kennedy juniors, if that’s the arm of the household you’re referring to.
The West Village has been overrun by younger frat bros with an excessive amount of household cash and no tradition.
Not but. It’s within the course of, maybe.
Taylor Swift has a lifetime ban from the Waverly Inn.
No, we like Taylor Swift.
Harry and Meghan are grifters.
Invoice Simmons may say that. I by no means would. I’m undecided grifter is the correct phrase. Extra “chancers,” which is in English expression for any individual who’s on the make.
Your buddy David Zaslav, the C.E.O. of Warner Bros. Discovery, is pretty compensated.
Wildly underpaid.
Tom Cruise tried to transform you to Scientology.
Deny.
Individuals who put on their order of Canada rosette on their lapels are ostentatious.
Deny. I simply suppose they’re most likely pleased with it.
The Democrats want a star candidate in 2028.
Verify. Nicely, they want a candidate, and whether or not it’s a star or not, they’ve obtained a powerful bench. It’ll take six months, and so they’ll get issues sorted out, after which there’ll be a power.
It takes you two hours to repair your hair on daily basis.
Oh God, far more than that.
You had been a gravedigger in Canada as a youth.
I used to be a gravedigger for sooner or later. The bottom in Canada is frozen for about seven months of the yr, and they also put a enroll at the highschool that mentioned we’re paying, I don’t know, two {dollars} an hour, in the event you needed to come back to dig graves. And I believed I may use the cash, and I believed it might be fascinating. And it was backbreaking and ghoulish, and I didn’t present up for the second day.
You’ve been twice fired by way of fax.
They weren’t jobs. They had been, like, contracts.
You had been named one of many 10 sexiest Canadians.
Verify.
You’ve the very best martini recipe on the planet.
I primarily copy the strategy of the outdated fellow who famously used to make them at Dukes London. First off, I freeze something that may be frozen. The gin or the vodka. And the glass. I want a small coupe to these V-glasses which can be the corny worldwide image for a martini. I occur to love a little bit of vermouth, so half a thimble stuffed with that. Then the gin or vodka — most likely not more than an oz and a half — and three olives out of the fridge and a small spoonful of olive juice.
You contemplate your self the main authority on packing a automotive trunk.
This has been a necessary a part of journey for a father of 5. Assume it out earlier than you begin jamming issues in. Every little thing ought to be on the pavement earlier than you start. Begin with the bigger baggage. Then, Tetris-like, match them into the truck or again. Attempt to stay calm.
